This is really long but, worth it!! One of my faves?

So, do you WAX?????





Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would dare! Hope you enjoy!


This has to be one of the funniest and most awful scenarios I have ever


heard of... Bless this woman!!!





All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,


painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now.... The Wax!!





My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix dinner;


played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my





mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should do the hair removal thing for


the month?"





So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold


wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in





your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart, press it to your


leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off! No mess, no fuss. How hard


can it be? I mean, I'm no girly, girl, but am mechanically inclined enough


that I can figure it out.





*YA THINK!!!*





So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each together,


stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hairdryer


and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh, how this phrase


haunts me!).





I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.





OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do


this!!!





Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body


hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!!





With my next wax strip, I move "north". After checking on the kids, I sneak


back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop


my panties and place one foot on the toilet.





Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the





bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the





inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and


brace myself....





RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!





I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR GOD !!!!!!!!!!!





I'm making noises that only dogs can hear .





Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half


of





the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP...





Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breath or speak - I have


forgotten how ..





Do I hear crashing drums?????





Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly) After all this I want to


see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt that has caused


me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my


triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!





There's no hair on it!





Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still





perched on the toilet. I see the hair... The hair that should be on the


strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I run my fingers over the most


sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.





Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . .





Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do


something, so I put my foot down.





DAMN!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door.





Vagina? Sealed shut!





Butt?? Sealed shut!!!





I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do and


think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off."





Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand


into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should


melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??





WRONG!!!!





I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than then that used to


torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.





Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together


is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.





In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax) So, now


I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the man what convinced me I


should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I call my friend, thinking surely


she's waxed before and has come secret of how to get me undone. It's a very


good conversation starter, "So my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!





There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to


hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is


located.





"Are we talking buttock cheek or is it covering - you know -


Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point) ?"





She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and


she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.





YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!





I should be the 'butt' of someone else's work-night jokes.





While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with


a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in


hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water, and then dry


shaving the sticky wax off!!!





By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip


into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand


reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion they give you to remove the


excess wax.





What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY


GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my


friend, but I really don't care!!





"IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and


she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice, to


my grief and despair...





THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!





So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.





Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . .

This is really long but, worth it!! One of my faves?
i laughed my @ss off at this joke


it brought back humiliating, painful yet hilarious memories for me as i have tried several "hair removal" products including the wax with no success... (my husband can bear witness to this as he was the one that had to convince me as i lay dieing on the bathroom floor that i did not rip off my who-ha lips)


thank you for the trip down memory lane and the sidesplitting laughter!!!
Reply:Ouch. Period.








NOOOO NOT THE HAIR COLOUR!!! WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!?!?!
Reply:LOL!!!


Good one!!!


Poor woman
Reply:AHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH VERY GOOD! this happened to you or just a joke?
Reply:HAIR COLOR?!?!?!?!
Reply:ummmmm.... sorry but i heard this a little while ago on here so either youre just posting it again to get some more attention... or it didnt happen to you and you stole it from someone else.





its still funny though.
Reply:I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. I am so glad I do not wax. Can hardly wait for the next story.
Reply:If this really happened to you and you are the real narrator, you should definitely write chick-lit. I would read it!!! Really funny!
Reply:THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE FUNNIEST **** I HAVE EVER READ LMAO YOU HAD ME IN TEARS!!! IT WAS SO FUNNY I HAD TO CALL MY FRIEND AND LET HER HEAR IT OVER THE PHONE. PLEASE IF YOU GET THE CHANCE EMAIL THIS TO ME SO I CAN SAVE IT FOR A BAD DAY!!!!( lord knows i'll need it)
Reply:awesome! i love it! keep going.........








lol.......................
Reply:Ouch. Dang. FUNNY.
Reply:Great .!!!
Reply:I absolutely LOVE this joke. I mean, it's more like a comedic story than a joke. Clever and yeah... wow/ow!
Reply:was a bit long but great 1 lol 10/10
Reply:girls are stupid
Reply:don't try this at home me thinks!
Reply:nearly fell asleep reading this , good grief woman, its a garden ,,let it grow????????/
Reply:i agree why not post it again if it makes people laugh good one 10/10
Reply:That was a cracker...cheers.
Reply:oh good lord am staying a wax virgin for the rest of my life, depites veet's advertising campaigns...was really funny though xXx
Reply:the pain you women go through but i pissed myself laughing brill tink10/10
Reply:Thank you God for making me a man.
Reply:that was brill!!! i havent laughed so hard in ages!!!!
Reply:oh yehhhhhhhhhh that was brill. so funny.
Reply:Makes me want to give it a try


as soon as I pick myself off the floor
Reply:what hair is left on ur pussy to color, i wonder!!!