I have just found out my grandma is completely homophobic..?

I am struggling with my sexuality. I think i must be bisexual because i fancy boys and girls equally.


I am 14 years old.


I told my grandma on the phone, "What would you do if I turned bisexual?"


She started ranting on about how it's not normal, how it's not natural, not the way of life, how i must be 'very confused', how i'm betraying GOD, how if my (dead) mum was here she would be absolutely 'out of her mind' (i actually doubt that).


A girl at school told me she liked me and then I am starting to get feelings for her too. I didn't tell my grandma this.


My grandma also said she would be 'very, very upset' if i turned bisexual because it is 'not normal'.


I asked her what she thought about gays/lesbians and she said 'yacky yacky yacky' and it 'freaks me out' and how it 'makes her skin crawl'





She is a STRONG christian and I am really confused. I am crying over this phone call now. What should I do?





Btw my grandma is the only closest female relative in my life still living.

I have just found out my grandma is completely homophobic..?
she is living in the past, you don't have to tell her anyway just talk to a open minded friend
Reply:Hey Kristen,





You have to figure that she comes from time where discrimination is very common. Her whole history, as is my parents, is filled with nothing but segration, so you have to expect this at least - the probablity it higher. If she she chooses to not be in your life, then, wow, what a loss.





Take care Kristen.





Kyle.
Reply:See, we told you not to tell her.
Reply:Try to educate her on the subject. What is her definition of natural?





Natural - pertaining to nature.





Sex pertains to nature, and therefore is natural.





Phones, on the other hand, are not natural.





Tell her she is disappointing God by using a telephone!





Shame on her!!





And besides, there are gay animals all over the place, so it IS natural.





And there have been some genes that may be responsible for making people gay, and these genes are most likely passed through females.





So its HER genes that made you bi. =]
Reply:dont listen to her
Reply:well i feel for you i really do but if you do turn out to be a lesbian or bisexual and she does not accept it then you can not make her change her ways and she will attempt to destroy her relationship with you and you will have to accpet it





i really hope it will help even if i may have sounded harsh xoxo
Reply:DON'T TELL HER. Although you may have already tipped her off with your question "What would you do if I turned bisexual?"





What would be the point of telling her? Why would you want to upset the old lady like that?





I'm sorry to hear that she's your only close female relative still living, but it sounds like coming out to her isn't going to make your relationship better or help her understand you more, its only going to alienate and upset her, and make your relationship more difficult. Why tell her?
Reply:In the end, it's your life. You need to live it for YOURSELF. :)





Doing what makes you happy should be a goal for everyone, and if dating this girl is going to make you happy, then you should do it and not care what anyone else thinks.
Reply:My grandparents are like that! Just don't tell her, your still young so at least wait till you have an serious and I mean really serious g/f/. You could lose your grandma over this
Reply:She is correct.
Reply:well, i'm really sorry you're going through this. i realise that your grandmother is your only female relative alive that you're closest too, but her ignorant ranting and raving is only going to hurt you. you need to focus more on yourself and your feelings and not so much about hers. if you live with her, then you can't cut her out of your life until you're 18, but you should try and find some local group of LGBT's in your area that you can hang out with and "adopt" as family
Reply:live ur own life if shes any sense and loves u she`ll come round
Reply:Strong christian is the key to her problem. Don't expect her to understand. They just never do. A young woman of your age needs someone who can mentor her. Try to find a PFLAG (parents and friends of Lesbians and Gays) in your area. There will be folks there who can help and guide you. As for your grandmother just do not mention the subject again unless she brings it up. Folks like that tend to sweep thing under the carpet they can't understand. Good Luck.
Reply:Homosexual sex is an abomination to the Lord. I have no fear of talking to homosexuals about the sin of homosexual activity in a charitable way. (*note that I said "homosexual activity" and not "homosexuality".) He/she may listen and in so doing I will plant the seed of truth. That's about all I can do. When speaking to gays, I often use alcoholism as an analogy. I tell them an alcoholic has to make a choice:





1) They can say "God made me this way so it must be okay to get drunk"


or


2) I know I'm alcoholic, I know drunkeness is a sin, so I need to check myself.





I apply that same logic to homosexuals: Recognize the wrongness of the activity and don't give in to your weakness. I don't hate homosexuals, just like I hope nobody hates alcoholics. We're all sinners, and we all have particular weakness to a particular sin. The key is to be the master of your weakness and overcome it, and don't buy into the lies of modern society or political-correctness.





I invite you to learn about "Courage" - http://couragerc.net/


"Courage" is an apostolate of the Catholic Church and ministers to those with same-sex attractions and their loved ones. You'll never hear about it in the mainstream media: They have many success stories of people overcoming their same-sex atraction issues, and sometimes even getting married to fellow members of he opposite sex. They are amazing stories - stories which prove wrong the notion that you are just born that way and there is nothing you can do about it.
Reply:leasn trust me u r straight .... but wen u see every body talkin about the gay thingies trust me u well say like may be am too thin u well think that u r for really.... that girl wat she want both of u just 14 i guess ?? just forget about every thing ur just confused ..... and its a sin dont forget that.... i really dont know why the Media make the gay person is someone spacial instate of the truth that he/she just a GAYYYYYYY...... leasn to her....
Reply:oh well . its nothing to cry about . chances are she wont change much . find someone else to confide your romantic escapades with . try and not resent her over it .
Reply:Wow, I think a lot of people are taking this way too flippantly. First of all, it's really complicated, and in the end you have to make the decision. If you tell her, you risk her rejecting you. However, she may surprise you. My mom is a very faithful Catholic, and yet she is able to be respectful of my pagan faith. I do agree with the person who said you should find outside support - PFLAG, or even a school group.


You are young, and trying to figure it all out right now is a bit much - some people know, but for others it takes years to feel truly sure of who they are. I would say that you need to give yourself time. Whether you broach this with your grandmother now or wait until you figure things out, again, is up to you. But if you say something now, it may forever change your relationship.


As for whether it is natural or sinful, again I think that's between you and your conscience. In the natural world, there are many homosexual couplings among animals. In the Bible, most people cite the passage on Sodom and Gomorra. I have heard some good arguments that the issue is not the sex between two men, but rather the violation of the guest-host relationship. It's up to you decide in the end what you believe.
Reply:Old people can't control what they say because the frontal lobe in their brain, the part that edits what they say, begins to shrink as people get older.


The more it shrinks, the nastier she'll become.


Just say, "Okay nana" while you think "Nana's a crack head", and don't tell her anything so personal anymore. Old people don't understand homosexuality unless they are gay/lesbian themselves.
Reply:Well you can't change how you are...If you're bisexual then you're bisexual...it's simply about love, not what's between the legs...





The best advice I can give you is have her read "Love, Ellen" it's a book written by Betty DeGeneres (Ellen DeGeneres's mother)...it explains things very well and has helped a lot of people change thier perspectives...helped them become more open minded...





You can't change what your grandmother believes completely (niether can "Love, Ellen") but maybe it will help her be more understanding :) Just be true to yourself no matter what. That's really important.

shell flower