Any ideas to help me with my b.f of 3.5 years? i dont wnat to leave him!!!?

iam in a situation that i dont know what to do!


i ve been with my b.f for 3 1/2 years and we love each other soo much and i know it for sure. like about 1 month ago he told me that he wanted a break i said ok and was upset he said it wont be 4eva. then after 2 weeks he said he dont want to be with me and i ask him do you have another gf he said no. then i asked him about few more times and he said he likes some one but dnt know whats going on.. about 2 weeks later he i asked him again about his new gf. he said he has feelings 4 her and i asked is there any chance we will et back together and he said idk maybe.





me and his mom are really close he loves me / like me a lot we talk i visit her and he knows all his family knows me and likes me. also his mom an dhim are really close and he tells her everything, but he dont tell her anithing about another girl when she askes. he tell me that he alwasy will be there for me and he still loves me and cares have feeling also, but he is tired tha ti nag him 2much and i alwasy want things my way. he works and dont really have time for me so few days ago i asked him ...





if you dont have time for me cuz u alwasy work how u have time for her and he said i dont and she dont say nthig about it. my friends who know me and him and even who dont know sasy taht they fell that he lies abut about another girl . sometiomes i have a feeling that its a lie also. he changes his answers to the same question about her when i ask almost all the time. few days ago i seen his mom and we talked she said to me that she loves me and she told him that also and that she knoes that he loves me and he told her he needs time to breath. and she gave me good advice tha i agree and so did my friends.


1. be his friend


2. dont nag him if he said no then dont aks 1000 times again about something


3. no maa what dont talk about his gf. if he does or if he dosent


just act like she not there.





i told him that i feel that when he has time to see me he just dont want to and he said yes, because when i do see him i alwasy say soemthing negative. and waht hurt me the most he said that " what you feel for me , i feel for the new girll"





i dont really belive it cuz what i feel for him took me 3 years to feel and he knows her few months.








p.s and if he didn love me and care and really had another g.f why whould he be answering my phone calls and calling me tim eto time, calling me back??





if anyone have an advice plzz let me know !!!








then i talk to him on a phone for an hour and i told him how i know that i need to change things about me and i will and i will be his friend and he said no prob.


i wont nag his and ***** about things.














and yest. i seen him and we talk with him. i made shure i look cute and i've seen him looking. i show him my graduation pictures and he looked at it with so much care and love.


then we went to eat and i wsa like look u like my nails and he said yeah its nice and i was like and my toes to and he said i've seen it all ready!!! what it mean for me that he ws looking.


then when we walk to the train station he seen that many guys look at me and my shirt was keep goin up and you can see some skin and he said to me pull down ur shirt. i think he didnt like that other guys looked at me liek that but y he says that he dont want to be with me if he loves me.


and b4 i left he said that he seen me wearing all pink and i was with some guy. (true few days ago i was wearing all pink and i went with my cousin to the beach to talk a walk at night ) he dont know how my cousin looks.


so i was liek what u spy on me he didnt answer then i asked again he said no. in a way like yeah kinda.





when i told this to his mom she said they guy wants to know hat u doing and he didnt see me for about 3 weeks.


then not long ago i asked him about his g/f and how i dont believe it and he got man and said what u want to see her pic on my phone and i said no thakn you.


so i wantes to check and i ask him out of no where i wnt to see her pic and he said why so u can ***** and get mad and he said why does it matter.i was like no i just want to seee her how she look and all. he said no .


y would u ask why does it matter if you know i love you and want to be with you and dont wat u 2gether with her





...well then i though about something....idk if you guys will agree..,.





i put my self in his shoes. and asked my self ...


if i lie to him about my new bf. say i i have it and he will be asking me about him all the time how he looks and where we met and i love him and all that stuff that i ask him.


i would get mad and annoyd cuz iam 4get what i said b4 and i would't want to hear my le over and over again rightt????

















whne i talk 2 him he talks to me like be4 when i was his gf. he explains what he did yest. (he got a new tatoo) and how it looks and he said many people like it and i was liek who he said his friend who went with him and his roomate and people on the streets thats all. so i was lie cool.





and then i said that now i want to see him more then b4 cuz of his new tatooo and he said u'l see it.


then he said he was ironing his clouth so i was like what u ned to look hot?





and he laugh and said that he wont say sometihng that he wanted to say but i was like just say it and he said cuz u never know who you will see...





so if he did have another gf. then he would not say soemthing like this.











i want to let him go but soemething telling me not to. and its telling me just to give time timeee and space.














so plzz guys sorry its to long thannk you for who ever read it and give me some advice.


plzz dont write back to me and say leave him... cuz i know that i can do that.


if anyne have their opinion and diffrent point if view what to do and how to get him back and how to show him that i've change.


and if you think he really loves mee and cares. and about his new gf.

Any ideas to help me with my b.f of 3.5 years? i dont wnat to leave him!!!?
ok well the reason that he probably wanted a break was because he might of just got scared of all the comitment guys get scared of being w/ a girl for a long time soetimes..he is trying to make you jealous and trying to make you think that he is taken know,i doubt he is,he is playing games with youand dont lie about your cousin b/c then you are just playing the games back, he does care about you or else he would not take the time to even talk to you and if he had another g/f then she where would he get all of this time to talk to you? he was saying that you were going to see his tat b/c he knows he wamts to be w/ you,he might just want to not get back together right now b/c he wants to make sure that you are really going to change...
Reply:A saying comes to mind - why buy the milk when the cow is free. He's gotten what he wanted out of you. Why else would he date you for 3 years and not propose marriage? You deserve someone who will make you there number one priority.
Reply:well i think that what you need to do is start thinking about you and I know that you really want him.


I think that you need to give yourself time and space to think about all this and he'll then have the time to think about what life is like with you not around. after a week or so of space arrange to met up for a chat and see how things go then.


i do also think that he is not being completely honest with you and you do need to make sure that he is being totally honest with you before you have a go again.


and if thats not what he wants for some reason or another it will be hard but you will recover.
Reply:Some guys that are in a relationship for a long period of time, when their buddies aren't, feel like they're missing out on some part of life. Thats' when they feel the need to go break up with the GREAT girl they have, and mess around with a bunch of other girls who'll end up meaning nothing to them.





The best thing to do for awhile, is to stop badgering him about it and let him get out all these feelings of missing out on something. In the mean time, go live your life. In the end (probably a month or two at the most) he'll realize that life was better with you and that you only "nagged" because you cared and he'll most likely come back to you.
Reply:Sometimes after being in a relationship for so long, you don't want to leave it, because you've gotten used to the other person, and being in the relationship.





It's what happens a lot of the time in abusive relationships, they've been together so long, but she doesn't want to leave because they've been together for 900 years and she doesn't know what she'd do without him and blahblahblah.





Your best bet is to move on, it seems that's what he's done. If after you're in another relationship, he comes knocking at your door again, keep it at friends. I've never seen a rekindled relationship actually work, especially after a few years being ended by one person wanting to "take a break". There's usually some sort of grudge that won't die down, and the whole thing will crash and burn.
Reply:Get over him. Stay single for a while, figure out what you want in a man and don't settle if he isn't up to par. Nagging sucks and you shouldn't have to. He cares about what you think, but he's not going to get back together with you.


He has a girlfriend, he wouldn't lie about it.


You need to learn to be more independent. Sorry things didn't work out for you.