Is this a reasonable request?

My girlfriend of 8 months and I have been invited to her sisters wedding which takes place next month, I'v only met her sister and her partner on a few occasions but they seem to be a nice friendly down-to-earth couple, on the surface atleast.


Anyway, I'm quite a big fella, I love to work out, weight training is my life,apparently my girlfriends sister likes to express her disaproval of this by exclaiming "eew!" every time she see's a pic of me shirtless...I don't have a problem with that, its her sister I'm going out with, not her.


I also have a shaved head and quite a few tattoo's I suppose, some might call it "excessive" ink...again thats fine, I don't have a problem with that, its my skin not theirs.


Today my girlfriend was chatting on the phone to her sister when she asked her to ask me to grow my hair out and make sure I'm "well covered up" at the wedding (yeh, like I was going to turn up in a wire vest)


I'm seriously considering not going, thoughts?

Is this a reasonable request?
While its common courtesy for you to go reasonably dressed to a wedding, its rude of her to pointedly ask that her sister make sure you are. As for growing your hair out, that is downright rude of her.....Brides can be monsters, she is definitely overstepping etiquette boundaries. I wouldn't go if I was you. Nor would I chip in on the gift for the stuck up ******.
Reply:There wouldn't be any point in not going. U can't just let your girlfriend turn up by herself. U should go but don't let your style of dressing be influenced by what the bride thinks. Be yourself!
Reply:her family should take you as you are. thats like you saying i dont like women with blonde hair tell your mum to dye it for our wedding as long as you look clean and respectable i dont see what the problem is. i would defin go though.
Reply:Wow - she sounds pretty judgemental.





It's time your girlfriend had a hart-to-hart with her sister.





I wouldn't allow my sister to talk about my man like that. This is unacceptable. This needs to be resolved before the wedding.





BTW - bald heads, firm bodies and tatoos are cool.
Reply:be the better person... show up well groomed and at the end of the night right before u leave go up to the bride and tell her that u did not appreciate her childish request... tell her that u know when proper attire is required and u dont need to be reminded!!!! have a blast that night and hang out at the bar and get smashed!!!! yeah!!!!
Reply:I think her sister is being incredibly rude. Yes she wants guests to look smart at her wedding but a shaved head hardly makes you 'scruffy'.


Personally I wouldn't go if her sister cannot look beyond the tattoos and see you for the person you are. If your girlfriend however is desperate for you to accompany her, maybe she could talk to her sister and discuss compromise? i.e you wear a suit but don't grow your hair?


I certainly wouln't kowtow to the stuck up mare though...she should be trusting her sisters choice of partner and accepting that choice.
Reply:Don't worry about your hair, though make sure what you can cover of your tattoos are covered. Is it a silly, insulting demand to make? yes. But all in all, making your girlfriend (and her family) happy will benefit you in the long run, and the bride probably doesn't want pics of your tattoos.
Reply:you shud go and as long as you are smartly dressed why shud she mone its not nice to pick on you for the way you dress or your hair
Reply:She sounds pretty immature to react that way to your pictures. I know alot of brides to become control freaks when planning their wedding, which is expected, but she has no reason to comment on your everyday look and attire. I'd say go, and show off those sexy muscles with your girl friend!
Reply:Her wedding,her conditions.It is really rude from you not going.
Reply:Well its not really nice of her to ask that, but is it worth causing an argument over? This is her sister's day. It won't hurt you to grow your hair a little and wear sleeves just for one day. I'm sure it would mean alot to your girlfriend too. It shows your an understanding person! Her sister might change her thoughts of you too if your willing to do this for her on her wedding day. So in my opinion, you might as well do what she's asking.
Reply:She, your girlfriend's sister, doesn't want YOU at her wedding. She wants her idea of what you should be. I would tell her to "sit on it and spin" and if my girlfriend had a problem with that, she could sit on her sister's lap.





Sorry, a rather blunt answer but it's the way I feel about the issue.





BTW, I am nearly 60, have no tattoos and would never be considered buff by anyone with eyes. I am just an individual with my own quirks and damn few friends. I will be me!!! And the whole world can take it or leave as they see fit.





Cheers, and the next time you pump iron, pump one or two for me, God knows I will never do it for myself.
Reply:Wanting everyone to be properly dressed for the event is not an unreasonable request. But requesting that they change their appearance isn't. I'm assuming that you're also not part of the wedding party, so what difference does it make to her whether or not you have hair?





What did your girlfriend say to her?





If I were in your shoes, I would be insulted that she felt she needed to tell her sister to tell you how to dress when going to a formal affair. Just because you prefer a shaved head, take care of your body and have tattoos doesn't mean you don't have class.
Reply:I was bridesmaid at my sisters wedding and she asked me to cover up my tattoo (which I did.) I don't think it's unreasonable for them to ask you to do something. After all, it is their big day and they want everyone to look nice in the photos. However it is up to you wether or not you choose to do as they request. You really don't have to if you don't want to. I'm sure they will understand if you really don't want to. Good luck!
Reply:If it is important to your girlfriend that you attend her sister's wedding, then you should attend. The only reason to grow your hair out and dress according to your girlfriend's sister's dictates would be to gain your girlfriend a little peace.
Reply:A wedding by definition is a very formal affair. Therefore, you should have your best GQ look or Men's Warehouse ("You're gonna like the way you look..."). If you can grow your hair out a bit, try to do it (just swallow your pride). If not, don't worry about it and just have your best duds on and have fun.
Reply:You should be accepted for how you are! Don;t change yourself for anyone.