How to deal with the emotional ups and downs when my husband left me and my kids?

I am emotional and physically drained from him. He is playing head games with me and my children. He threatens me with not paying the bills, while he left me hanging with a house and kids and animals to take care of. He continuously shoots me down as soon as i get on my feet. He calls me to argue with me and he knows it get under my skin. I still love him and miss him but am very angry with the hurt and pain he has caused me and the kids. Why am I feeling this way, I want it over with, I dont want this feeling anymore. He says why couldnt I be a wife, nothing else comes out of it. He calls me to check up on me then says for me to stop bothering him. I dont even pick up the phone to call him for anything because he brings me right down when im feeling ok. He calls me all sorts of names and accuses me of all sorts of things, thens says he could give a rats *** what I do. I dont get it. How could someone be so evil. He is a very hard person to talk to, he brushes everything off

How to deal with the emotional ups and downs when my husband left me and my kids?
Well first of all I think he isn't over you, why else would he bother you although he most likely wants to be over to you but he just can't seem to do it. So therefore he feels that if he down talks you and make you feel bad then it will get him what he wants but it doesnt so he keeps doing it. But the trick is when he trys to put you down you need to come back with something that way he may be caught of guard and will give up this rudeness. Well until next time when he thinks he can attack you but you can't let him know that it gets to you act as if you can take it and come up with your own insult.
Reply:when my hubby left me i was down, but i had a male friend that encouraged me to get out there, and start talking to my old friends, and hang out with them, so i did that, i never even cried when he left, i was sorta relieved that he did leave, then he calls and bugs me, and always seeing what i was doing, i say why does it matter were not together remember you left me, but of course, were back together, and doing better then ever, but one of theses days he will do it again, and cheat.
Reply:i have been thru the same emotional rollercoaster you are on now. he will do it as long as you allow him to do it. when he threatens you with this or that, well think about the worst that could happen, accept that it may happen, and tell him to kiss off. let him sit and stew awhile and wonder where you finally got your backbone from. its a hard hard road to get up and pick up the pieces. especially if you are relying on him for financial stability. when he calls, let the kids answer and talk to him. if he is calling to check up on you, cut him off as soon as he ask, by saying, oh crap, i will have to call you right back, and hang up, then dont call back. sometimes, a mediator is a way to talk. i had to have a friend of mine get involved for a little while, as much as i hated to do so. he knows just what buttons to push, with you and he will do it until he is no longer permitted to do so. you have to get strong and hard. how can someone be so evil? well he didnt get that way over night!
Reply:sounds to me like he has some issues sweetie. I can't say I haven't been there though. First off you need ot go to family court and get him on a visitation schedule and get child support. Then if I was you I would let him talk to voicemail. Tell him look you left you made the choice to hurt me and the kids like this now I am done with the games. I am sure that you still love him but honestly is he acting like he loves you? There are programs out there to help you with bills and ect. Go to the Department of family and children services and get what you can to get you through to get you on your feet, they have food stamps, wic, medicaid ect. It will keep you from having to depend on someone who is not dependable right now. Then you and the kids get some counseling, and make yourselves feel better. He is the one with the issues sweetie. Now he has left you no choice but to be there for your kids. I know it's hard so I reccomend counseling and there is usually support groups for you and in school for the kids. It will be a rough road but once you get over it and used to it YOU WILL be a stronger woman and amazed at what you have made it through.


Good Luck
Reply:Time to stop focusing on him. You've got a high hill to climb over so pay attention to the problems that are on your plate right now. While you're at it--redefine what "love" is. Love is more than feelings--it's as much a partnership as it is a feeling. He's not your partner. Feelings are great, and they're important, but they're just feelings--and there's more to love and life than just feelings. One smart guy put it this way--have your feelings; don't let your feelings have you.





The next time he threatens you with nonpayment, threaten him with legal action for child support.
Reply:This man is on a power trip. take legal action immediately. this is flat out abuse.Cut him off at the knees. do not return his calls nor take them. Get a restraining order if possible. Don't let him live in your head rent free. Men can be drama queens too. You just found one.
Reply:Try B12 that helps with nerves.

oxalis